The Teaching Mum

A light-hearted look at parenting through the eyes of a very busy English Teacher.


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Guns Don’t Kill People, Teachers Do.

To be rapped to Goldie Lookin’ Chain’s ‘Guns Don’t Kill People’.

Guns don’t kill people, teachers do,

Ask any right-wing politician and they’ll tell you it’s true,

It’s a fact, Shakespeare makes you violent,

Imagine if Harper Lee had created Atticus to be silent,

You don’t believe me? Read this hype about teachers shooting guns as they teach sentence types,

There you sit defiant and unheedin’,

While children lay at your feet dying and bleeding’,

You’re the killer, right? Because you don’t give a f***,

The only weapon a teacher needs is a damn fine book,

But no, we’re doing this all wrong,

I should be shooting guns not singing the phonics song,

So I started, I bought some adhesive tape,

But a gun won’t stick to my super hero cape,

So remember kids, if your lesson feels flat,

Your teacher might be concealing a weapon in her fish-tale plait.

Guns don’t kill people, teachers do,

We should be teaching peace,

Woo, woo, woo.

Guns don’t kill people, teachers do,

I learnt how by watching on a documentary on BBC2,

Hands shaking outside her locked classroom door,

She’s ready and poised and in her hands she takes the law,

Statistics and Fake News are sometimes misleadin’

By allowing more guns, it’s killers you’re breedin’

It’s hidden under your left breast? No wonder you’re scared of breathin’,

It’s okay though – more CPD we’ll be receivin’,

No guns in the UK by ‘97,

A safer place, less violence – it’s almost heaven,

Too many lives lost. R.I.P,

Guns, not kids, should be in the cemetery,

Guns don’t kill people, teachers do,

I’m all about the peace,

Woo, woo, woo.

Guns don’t kill people, teachers do,

I’m an English Teacher but I won’t kill you,

As a teacher, I’m teaching you a lesson,

About empathy, love and freedom of expression,

Keep making a stand; keep saying no,

I need my money for green pens, not bullet vests and ammo,

Let’s pray you don’t have a teacher who often flippin’,

I like teaching poetry and not pistol whippin’,

But if you’re a teen filled with attitude and a whole lot of sass,

You’d better hope your teacher doesn’t pop a cap in your ass,

Playing with lives isn’t a game, it’s murder one,

Teachers in a classroom with a concealed gun?

This teacher can’t shoot but she can bust out a rap,

Guns don’t kill people? What a load of crap.

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